♡ THE SEX WORK INTERVIEWS ♡
hi! I am sooooo excited to share these interviews I did with these amazing human beings. I wanted to do these in a certain style - having people who have been in this industry for at least 3-4 years to give just a different perspective than someone who just started / newer would because I personally felt this would help / reach people starting out, wanting to start, or help & relate to people who have been in the industry for years more.
#3: HALEY
A huuuuuuuge thank you to the lovely people who participated in this, so..... here they are! 💗
( no order, just posting as I write it all out! ) There are 6 interviews! You can learn a lot from all of them ♡
#1: AURORA
1. Name & age: Aurora, 27
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? I have been an exotic dancer on and did a little bit of sugar babying when I was younger. I am currently dancing part-time on the weekends.
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? I was freshly 18!
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? This is currently my main job but I’ve had vanilla jobs before to keep the balance.
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? Sex work has affected my life positively because it’s brought me the income I’ve needed over the years and helped me meet the greatest friends that I have in my life. Sex work has also shown me how to enforce boundaries with others. It’s also helped since I have depression/anxiety so the job allows me to take breaks when needed.
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? Sex work has affected me negatively by draining my mental health at times and always wanting to look/be perfect. Also, by showing me how gross men really are in the industry. (customer or co-worker)
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? My advice would be to stay true and know how to separate your dancer persona from yourself. To add, stay out of drama and don’t get caught up in the money.
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? Something I wish I would’ve known sooner was to SAVE MY DAMN MONEY! No one told me how quickly money comes and goes as a baby stripper. I am paying the price now. Find a savings routine and stick with it!
9. What are your long-term goals? My long-term plan is to finish school and work as much as I possibly can when I graduate, so I can prepare for my exit plan.
10.Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long-term plan? My exit strategy is to retire at the end of this year and open my own esthetician business/spa and cater to sex workers and their skin problems.
Top photo is Aurora as a 20 year old baby stripper & the bottom photo is her currently! ♡
You can find Aurora on Instagram 💘 & on OnlyFans 💘
#2: LACEY
1. Name + age: Lacey Mattel, 24
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? I started sex work on and off using camming & clip websites, Reddit threads, Facebook groups (who remembers nudes for pizza?), Tumblr communities, and other means of selling and exchanging photos and videos. Currently I am a stripper and have been dancing for the last four years. I also use OnlyFans and direct methods to sell content currently.
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? 18 (legally) I think a lot of us experienced that weird grooming period on tumblr and Kik where we would have gift cards or things emailed or mailed to us for lude or nude photos. It’s absolutely wrong but I’ve that myself and a ton of other current sex workers got introduced to the job or lifestyle this way.
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? I actually just launched my pole & flexibility studio last weekend, Philly PYT. I wouldn’t say it’s totally vanilla because this studio and company REALLY caters to strippers (giving them floorwork and moves they can actually use on stage, unlike most pole studios that cater to pole fitness.) Of course there’s tons of overflow from every walk of life and we accept everybody! Stripping is my main job and I expect it to be for quite some time. The money will always be too good to look away.
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? Sex work has definitely given me financial freedom I didn’t have before. Especially dancing. It’s also given me immense respect for myself. I do not settle for anything less than what I know I deserve. I don’t think I would be able to have this confidence and self respect without this job.
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? Even with all the countless positive impacts, there’s definitely some negative impacts too. I’ll start with knowing I won’t be able to get another job and make the same money. Also knowing you won’t be able to get a job where you can go to work in a financial emergency and have money that night for that emergency. Another negative impact is the extremely low sex drive. Performing sexuality every night becomes exhausting and makes the act of sex sometimes triggering or not fun anymore. Not to mention how we are constantly being touched by men, it’s hard for your brain to figure out when to be in the mood and when not to be. My last negative aspect is that sometimes a bad night can really break us down on a personal level.
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? Make a plan. It doesn’t need to be an exit plan but have a plan for what you want to do with your money. Fast cash can be so amazing and also so scary. You can $3,000 in your wallet one day and $0 three days later. If you’re not smart with your money you can find yourself in serious financial ruts. Become financially literate, plan to do your taxes so you can make big purchases like houses and cars. Buy those things before you buy designer bags. Invest your money. Do not keep it sitting in a shoe box. There’s so much advice I could give but seriously just be smart with your money. Hire an advisor and accountant right away. I wish I could go back and change what I’ve done but for now I can only educate myself and make smarter moves for my future, and I recommend every sex worker to do the same.
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? It’s fast money, not easy money. You will be emotionally drained. Take your time to learn about sales and take even more time to indulge in self care.
9. What are your long term goals? Long term goals include buying another house and investing in properties and airbnbs. I would love to go back to school and finally get my degree but it’s important to me to figure out what I really want from school before I spend the money on it.
10. Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long term plan? I’d like to stay in the industry through my thirties. During the next ten years or so I’d like to obtain more property and make larger investment portfolios so I can retire in my 40s/50s. Have little houses all over so I can travel my life away.
Top photo is Lacey as a baby SW'er & the bottom photo is her currently! ♡
1. Name + age: Haley Spades, 23
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? In the past I've been a stripper, sugar baby, and a cam girl. Currently a professional adult actress and content creator. I still dance on the side here and there but wouldn't say that's my current full time sex work job.
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? 18, started out as a sugar baby and stripper.
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? Sex work is my main job!
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? It has allowed me to travel and live a life of leisure and somewhat luxury. I've been able to provide for myself since I was 18. I have plenty of free time and quite an open/flexible schedule.
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? I've been single for a year pretty much, seems like a lot of men aren't secure enough to date a sex worker. I know there's plenty of secure men out there though so I'm not rushing things. Besides, my ex-boyfriend was kinda a mooch anyways.
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? My advice is to save save save save your money!! There are slow periods in sex work and you really want to be able to support yourself even during the slow times.
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? I wish I knew how hard it would actually be to *leave* sex work. Sex work has allowed me to live a lifestyle that I absolutely love and cherish, and most lines of work don't compare. Time, freedom, finances, all of it. I really don't see how else I could live this exact same lifestyle. And that's ok! I enjoy the industry and what it has to offer (:
9. What are your long term goals? My long term goals include winning awards in the adult film industry, and continuing to build a bigger name for myself. Especially within the fitness community, I'm trying to be one of the more well-known performers who's big into fitness 💅🏼
10. Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long term plan? For now, I'm not exactly focused on an exit plan. I take things day by day and if I decide I want to leave the adult film industry, I see myself getting back into dancing full time. But I love being an actress who gets to be a slut on camera more than anything right now.
You can find Haley on Instagram 💘, OnlyFans 💘, & Twitter 💘
#4: NIKO
1. Name + age: Niko, 25
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? I have sold content, a range of different sugaring, fs, and dancing. Now I just dance and do lower commitment sugaring.
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? I started going on like sugar dates when I was like 17 (I do not condone or recommend anyone starting sw in any capacity this young) and then started selling pictures and videos shortly after on Mygirlfund.
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? No I only do SW. Most vanilla jobs I am unable to keep because I have chronic migraines.
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? SW has positively affected my life in many ways that I will always be grateful for. For years I struggled trying to work retail and food service, usually getting fired for having to call out because of unpredictable migraines that make me violently nauseous as well. Going to dancing full time was the only way I could actually support myself. Money was one of the reasons I stayed in a physically and emotionally abusive relationships for so long and dancing helped me leave it. I had a mental breakthrough about it while smoking on break with a coworker. She told me she had just left her bf for putting his hands on her and I was like ‘wait why tf am I trying to make it work with someone who knowingly gave me an E.D. and broke a glass on me?’. I haven’t seen that person in a long time now. Stripping helped me regain a lot of confidence I lost in that abuse.
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? SW has negatively affected my life not because of the work itself but because of the attitude of disrespect towards SWers that makes it dangerous. I have been stalked, Ive been shot at, Ive almost been abducted, and I have been assaulted. All this stays with me mentally and manifests in extreme anxieties about going places alone sometimes. Customers disrespecting my boundaries can make me jumpy with my partner at home when he’s trying to touch me and that does make me sad.
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? Advice I would give to someone new is COMPLETELY figure out the physical boundaries you want to have at work and always enforce them firmly. Keep your personal and work lives separate for mental well-being and safety. THINK ABOUT SAFETY ALL THE TIME. If you think you’re being too paranoid or putting too many safety measures in place, you are not. Turn your location on for multiple trusted friends/family, always screen, always have at least one person waiting for updates from you, take self defense classes, buy small weapons to keep in your purse, deposit money during the daytime only.
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? I wish I had known to not spend more than two songs talking to a customer. Just cut to the chase.
9. What are your long term goals? Long term I want to buy a house and work in organizing for better rights for sexworkers. I’d also like to start a program to onboard and educate swers about cryptocurrency as it is extremely important for us to have access to decentralized finance and learn all we can about different forms of investing.
10. Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long term plan? I dont really have a specific exit plan from SW. Honestly I see doing it for a long time because ‘aging out of sw/stripping’ is a myth. Any time I work with a dancer over 35 they’re always the highest earner and making it look effortless. When I stop doing sexwork I’m sure Ill still be involved in the industry in some way.
Top photo is Niko at the start of their career & the bottom photo is Niko currently! ♡
You can find Niko on Instagram 💘 & Twitter 💘
#5: KITANA
1. Name + age: Kitana, 29
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? I've worked in massage parlours, escorted, and in strip clubs. I'm currently working in various strip clubs around Canada as a dancer and showgirl.
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? I was 26.
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? No I don't think I could ever go back to a vanilla job (or at least not right now) I'm not a normal person, I don't fit in with normal people of society.
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? Sex work has effected me positively in the sense that it has made me realize my worth and value, it's helped me so much socially and with my confidence, dealing with many personalities you become sharper and wittier when it comes to holding conversations.
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? As much as I love working as a sex worker it has left me bitter and jaded as you get to see mens true colours, those who claim they support women would never actually want to date a stripper or if they do, they end up resenting you. Dating has been extremely hard because of it.
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? You have to have thick skin in order to be in this kind of industry as you'll be dealing with people who will try and bring you down both men and women, take the time to take care of your mental and physical health, read positive affirmations so that you start to believe them then no one will be able to stand in your way.
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? Never mention money, and certain details about work friends, family and especially not partners. They may seem okay with it at first but if they are not on your level financially and emotionally then it will come back to bite you.
9. What are your long term goals? I want to save enough money to feel financially secure, while being able to invest in showgirl costumes, stocks/gold and eventually get back into dating again. It's hard to do everything but patience is key we will have everything we want and need with hard work and consistency.
10. Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long term plan? I definitely want to strip and work as a showgirl for as long as I can, I know of some mid 40 year old dancers who look fantastic and still make a killing with all age groups. I'm trying to save and invest my money now so I'll have extra income coming in while I sleep, then when the time comes I'll go back to school to become a massage therapist :)
Meet Kitana! This is her currently living her best life at the strip club ♡
You can find Kitana on Instagram 💘
#6: SADIE
1. Name + age: Sadie, 26
2. What sex work have you done in the past? What are you currently doing? I have only ever been an exotic dancer, I tried a bit of WebCam modeling but dancing was definitely a much better fit!
3. How old were you when you started in this industry? I believe I started when I was about 22 years old off and on but I’ve been very consistent since last year!
4. Do you have a vanilla job on top of this or is this the main job? During the day I am currently completing a Masters program in business as part of my vanilla life!
5. How has sex work affected you and your life positively? This line of work has brought so many positive attributes to my life as I know it today! From body confidence, financial security and learning how to establish boundaries in any situation!
6. How has sex work affected you and your life negatively? I guess dealing with burn out emotionally from time to time but I truly don’t have much to complain about everything has been lovely since I’ve been maturing as a dancer!
7. What advice would you give to someone thinking about joining the industry or someone new to the industry? I believe if you’re trying to join the industry you really just have to jump into it, there’s no right way of starting in my opinion because you truly just learn shift by shift. Be confident and who you are, what you offer, and most importantly your boundaries!
8. What is something about sex work that you wish you knew sooner? I guess I wish I would’ve known a little bit more about negotiating and sticking to compensation that’s comfortable for me but it’s definitely something I’ve matured in throughout the years.
9. What are your long term goals? My long-term goals is to continue investing the money I make at work and finish my masters program! I could see myself being in the industry a little bit longer while I achieve those goals.
10. Do you have an exit strategy for when you want to retire this industry or is this something that’s the long term plan? As of now my exit strategy is aligns with me finishing my Masters program so I believe I could be in the industry for one more year while simultaneously accomplishing my financial goals!
You can find Sadie on Instagram 💘 (hers is a SW safe space for women wanting to learn how to invest their $$$ & become financially educated!)
I hope you enjoyed this blog as much as I did and getting to know so many different aspects of this industry in EVERY umbrella! Just like their are many differences with people - in this blog I was impressed to see that everyone is talking about how important it is to save your money, invest, etc when a lot of people (civ, customers) think we're all horrible with all of our $$ and don't know what to do with it, that we don't pay taxes, "not a real job" etc when like yeah sure some people definitely do NOT know how to handle their $$ especially when it's made so quickly ( I WISH this was taught to people in the industry as like a little self help guide but maybe one day that will exist! ) and this honestly just shows me how much more of a real job this really is.
Our jobs are not much different than a lot of high paying "normal" jobs:
♡ we have to be upbeat, sell our services etc even on mentally hard / physically hard days & overall just like any salesperson.
♡ we are FUCKING. HUMAN. like YES, we are totally sexualized for work ( lots of pros and cons there ) but it is so hard to find someone who is secure with themselves to date / befriend a sex worker because of how much $$ we have the potential of making, our schedules, and obviously with dating we need someone who is REALLY secure with themselves. just like someone who works long hours as a lawyer or doctor - we have to worry if people are friends with us or dating us for financial benefit as well and we put in a TON of labor and effort to get to where we are. I totally understand why people would think this industry is easy, but anyone posting how much $$ they have made or presents, whatever - they worked their ass off to get to that point - whether it be: building & networking with the right clientele, spending hours of their days building online relationships with simps / regulars / etc, showing up to work very frequently or making content online frequently to build a name + many more. To me, it's not much different from when people are starting out their normal business and paying for advertising, client recommendations to build their client list, finding the right people to network with, and obviously putting the work in.
♡ our goals are similar. we want investment properties / investments in general, we want to buy homes, we want to finish school or use our degrees if we have one, and we have plans to get to our goals whether it be a year from now or 10 years from now. just like any other high paying normal job - you have to have goals for your company and regardless : the LONG TERM goals I've noticed with sex work have never been material items other than a house or a better car but tbh in my opinion those are *necessities* and not something of complete luxury.
♡ ( a good amount of us ) have 401k plans, stocks + crypto, investment properties, savings accounts, ROTH IRA's, pay our taxes ( which absolutely suck but needed if we want to obtain these houses and bigger purchases ), and that is no different from again, a lawyer or doctor.
point being: I get the stigma of sex work. A lot of us do. Just be kind to your local sex worker, whether you are buying their services, your child, your family member, your significant other, or your friend.
Thank you so much for reading! ♡
xo,
emotional stripper ♡
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