♡ STRIPPER ETIQUETTE 101 ♡

 i have seen way to many dancers lose the bag, go home sad / pissed, lose friends / respect, etc because of not knowing that stripper etiquette needs to be used not only on the floor / with customers, but with fellow dancers as well. ♡

etiquette is important because not only does it show that you carry yourself in a certain way professionally - it also shows you understand basic respect & that you expect the same in return. it makes you classy. it makes you still the same "fun, sexy, hot fantasy". it makes customers, management, and dancers respect you & it also sets a certain bar FOR customers and dancers. example: if every single girl at your club was completely rude to EVERY customer - I highly doubt most of the dancers at that club would get any customers that were respectful to them.

what is "etiquette" you may ask? let us learn and see why it is SO important in this industry especially ♡

                                           ♡ STRIPPER ETIQUETTE 101 ♡

1. NEVER SHARE A FELLOW DANCERS PERSONAL INFORMATION WITH A CUSTOMER OR OTHER DANCERS: Should be obvious, but unfortunately it isn't. Telling a customer a dancers: real name, if they have / had a family, their marital status, etc compromises their safety and you are getting nothing out of it ( even if you ARE, quit that shit. ) showing customers another dancers social media, telling them things that they have told you in confidence that you are now relaying back is not only dangerous, but you are also fucking up their $$$ as well. if a customer ever asks whatever things about another dancer working, change the subject, act clueless, say "I don't know", etc. and bonus points if you then inform said dancer that Chad was asking x,y,z about her. When it comes to sharing information to girls you work with about other girls, I get it, it's hard not to share things if it seems like it's obvious or that we already know or just general locker room gossip. I've been there, pretty sure we all have. Most of the time people are shady and if you are working in an environment where you are seen as competition to most, that "innocent" fact or whatever it is will probably be used against them then or later in the future ( & at the *very* least get spread around your club where it's a huuuuuge game of telephone between customers & dancers & will most likely create a lot of judgement. ) I know dancers always come off or seem jaded to most people, but when I say you are there to make money, not friends, I mean that. Trust VERY carefully - if at all. I know this from a dancer at my club who completely doxxed me on social media last year and A LOT of personal information and photos were shared to my personal life and my work life. Be careful. Focus on yourself. Shut the fuck up about other people ( respectfully ).

2. DON'T BE FUCKING RUDE: ( I love my blog because I can write in shitty grammar because it's like a diary and swear but still get a point across ) anyways - yeah, don't be rude. Examples of this are:

- the guy who is tipping 90% of the girls on stage but not you

- the guy who has wasted 30 minutes of your time just to say "no" or "I don't have money"

- the guy who does not tip you after a dance

- the guy who asks for your # 

& a million more. Don't be rude because it will not help you in the long run. When someone yells at someone or gets mad for not tipping - the environment is immediately tense and not comfortable, and more often than not, that person will leave & other girls will not be making money just because you weren't getting yours. It sucks, I know, but be classy about it and try not to take it personally. Tell yourself that clearly you're just not his type and that you aren't dancing for him ANYWAYS and that you have however many more people to wow & dazzle & he's lame for missing out! Why give him the satisfaction of knowing he's getting to you? It just feeds his ego and makes you look jealous and unprofessional. If someone wastes your time for that long - honestly that's why I say figure it out in 2 songs because men are visual creatures, it should never take 30 minutes for them to waste your time to finally tell you they don't have money for your service. Get up after 2 songs and let him see that you don't give a shit about walking away and that you can go talk / flirt with a guy 20 feet away from him. So many guys I have met get off on rejecting pretty girls because in their real life they don't usually have that opportunity. That's why you leave politely and say, "I enjoyed talking to you, but let me know if you change your mind or decide on what you want to do!" - because A LOT of guys will usually dance with you if they see you're still sweet after rejection, see that you aren't aggressive, and it just might be later in the night - so patience is key. 

Being rude to someone is COMPLETELY fine if someone : crosses your boundaries, talks shit about you directly or behind your back, etc. ( if they seem dangerous or aggressive AT ALL - talk to your security and don't even bother engaging with that person ) Being rude in that sense is what I call standing up for yourself and other dancers. If you get pissed some guy is trying to fuck you in VIP ( in a club where that is not allowed at all ) and is having an attitude or refusing to pay you, then YES - stick up for yourself and by doing that, you are helping out the next girl he'd try and do that to because he'd be met with the same reaction if he was to even attempt that approach again. 

When it comes to girls you work with, people are shitty. Mind games and petty bullshit run WILD in clubs. Be above it & don't waste your time in the locker room. No matter what industry you are in, normal or not, not everyone is going to like you & that's fine. Don't try and fake kiss the veteran strippers' asses, don't try and steal other girls customers or regulars knowingly, & don't talk shit unless you're willing to deal with the consequences in person because it's so easy to just hide online. Let the girls you work with, WANT to work with you. That's how you make work friends, that's how you sell multiple person dances and you need that shit when it comes to things like bachelor parties, etc & that's how you gain respect from other dancers naturally. You want other girls to invite you to their double dance if requested and you don't want to be the girl that everyone *knows* is the problematic bitch. Literally just exist, don't purposely step on anyones toes, have fun, be nice, make your money, go the fuck home. If someone in your club is being the problematic bitch, go up and talk to her directly. If someone is stealing your regulars or your customers, have management handle it because they don't want a negative environment as well. If someone is just being weird and fake, just nod and pretend to be engaged but don't even waste your energy because GIRL, you got money to make. ♡

3. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING WITH POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS & YOUR ACTUAL CUSTOMERS: Actively engage. I genuinely have not met a single guy who likes or prefers the aggressive approach method - so, I talk to people like I would a good friend or someone I am interested in. Listen to what they are saying, ask questions if you don't understand, make comments / nod / etc if you know the topic, laugh, make some jokes, show your human side vs. the "sexy / intimidating" side. Ask their name, what brought them in, how their night is going, etc! It makes everyone more comfortable, you are automatically more personable, and best part? You might now have something in common with a customer and actually really like them as a person as well now that you got to know them & pick their brain a little bit! Even if it is the most boring possible conversation everrrrrrrr ( we've ALL been there ) - act interested or just change the subject to something neutral or ask them an open ended question! 

4. DON'T ASK GIRLS YOU WORK WITH HOW MUCH MONEY THEY ARE MAKING / HAVE MADE THAT NIGHT IN GENERAL ( UNLESS YOU GUYS ARE CLOSE LIKE THAT ) BECAUSE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS: I feel like a lot of girls personally who have asked me do NOT have good intentions about it and are seeing if I'm a) having a shitty night b) they're "doing better than me" & others so that's a huge flex to them or c) jealousy or competition thing & I do nottttt fuck with any forms of that energy because it is SO negative & borderline masochistic in a way. Try not to compare yourselves to your friends or other girls at work - it just creates bad self talk most of the time & it is always better to focus on yourself & your *own* bag.

5. LEAVE THE PERSONAL LIFE DRAMA AT HOME: With our customers it's a little harder for them to leave whatever home or work life drama at home because we are basically sexy, scantily clad therapists. A message to anyone buying our services though: please understand and know what an energy vampire is. If you are venting about your 10th divorce, worst work day ever, anything like that - please tip the dancer you are with because we are literally not trained to deal with responses to any of that and our job is to dance, not get drained. We get that it's a huge part of what happens in the club and most of us are more than happy to talk / listen to you, etc. but please just know that it can be very draining and affect our moods for the night & tips are appreciated as well as a potential heads up if you know you are going to be venting! ♡ Dancers, same thing. Locker room energy vampires are not fun to be around and also affects peoples moods as well. Yes, we all go through our own shit. Yes, we all go to work on days where we definitely would / should be home instead because of how shitty we feel mentally. But, we are all going through shit and at the end of the day - everyone has a story & you just have to compartmentalize at work if you want to be successful -- otherwise you'll be in the dressing room the entire night or leave after an hour which at that point, staying home would've been better because at least you wouldn't have had to pay to be there. Protect your energy. Don't reveal weak spots / insecurities that genuinely upset you because customers & dancers will also possibly use some of that against you if they want to put you down. This sounds negative, I know, but I'd much rather be truthful than say it's "live, laugh, love" 80% of the time when it isn't. This job isn't for the weak if you want to last longer than 3-6 months - you have to be mentally and emotionally strong ( bonus points if you can slightly detach in a healthy way to distance yourself from your real life ) 

6. THE LITTLE THINGS:

- having extra tampons, wipes, little things like that is always great in case someone needs it 

- don't be sloppy.

- tip your security guard and house mom.

- don't gate keep things like where you got an outfit or whatever, that shit is weird and again, at the end of the day we're just trying to pay our bills and live our lives. let's look hot doing it.

- if you have a problem with another dancer - talk to them directly vs having them hear it from other girls. 

- BE POLITE to people / management / customers who are polite to you.

- realize ( again ) we are literally all in this together. we are struggling with the same things, there for essentially the same reasons, and all have to try to make it work.

- QUIT THE DAMN JUDGEMENT PLEASE ♡ respectfully. some clubs allow nudity in dances, some do not. some allow extras, some do not. if you see girls showing their boobs in a dance - don't be rude and just assume the worse - just move or don't pay attention. if you know someone at your club does extras ( say it's allowed ) but you just *would never* because of your own morals, the Karen-y way of "self respect" in that aspect, or whatever it is that is coming from a negative place - don't even worry about her. she's doing her thing, go do yours. if things like that bother you or would bother you ( obviously if it is genuinely affecting your money / customers personally then that's a different story ) you are in the wrong industry & will feel frustrated more often than not. some people do more for money, some people don't. that's fine, that's life. I just want to make sure y'all are being SAFE, following your clubs rules to the best you can, and being safe in a safety situation kind of way as well and to check in with yourself mentally. ♡

- don't spread rumors. we're not kids and this job is hard enough, the last thing anyone needs is unnecessary drama. 

- don't text while you're in a dance or receiving a dance unless it's an emergency or you're both fine with it because otherwise it just looks unprofessional and comes off as rude.

- look out for new girls. in the sister kind of way because WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. show them what the ropes ( some at least ) are, answer some of their questions, teach them some floor or pole work if you want, and just think of yourself back when you were a baby stripper & what you wish one of the vets or girls who have been there for a shorter amount of time could have treated you. look out for each other and show some empathy because so many people are terrified / anxious their first few weeks. 

there are definitely others that I can touch on in another blog, but these were some of my main ones I wanted to personally address. ♡

love,

emotional stripper ♡