helloooo! ( i don’t know why i announce like this on blogs but we’re going with it! 🤪 )
SO - no one likes to talk about STI/STDS ( yes, there’s a difference ) but it is SO IMPORTANT - whether it be your regular everyday life or your SW life. It *amazes* me how many times, especially early in my online collabing career, that me & whoever would just make content & take our words that we were clean. Same thing with FSSW / escorts — having clients not be tested recently *especially* if they are married is SO COMMON it is weird!!! Like hi please get tested too because the other persons health matters as well?? And if you ARE the married guy reading this: I promise you your s/o is not looking at your results & wondering why you’re getting tested because it’s not like a notification is going to anyone or anything so ??? if you’re going to hire someone, please do it for their safety as they would yours ♡
I have had the honor of somehow sliding in @safe.sluts DM’s asking to do an interview because I absolutely love how open, relatable, & honest she is about her own diagnosis as well as helping other people in the SW / regular community. She is someone who I truly think is helping to break the stigma because she is not making her herpes diagnosis feel like it’s the end of the world like so many people do ( which I totally get because of how stigmatized it is ) & continues on living her best & sluttiest life still — just even safer! 💅🏻
♡ INTERVIEW Q & A ♡
1. What inspired you to make your account & how has the amount of followers you’ve gained from being so open make you feel?
A: I was diagnosed with genital herpes in November 2019 and realized that none of us wants to talk about it! The worst part of having it is the social stigma, so I aimed to break that stigma down! When I was first diagnosed everyone told me "it's okay you'll find someone to date," and like I know that's true! But I'm 25 and I still want to have casual sex with whoever I want! So the initial idea of safe slut is all about still being a slut even with herpes. I wanted to create a safe space and community for people with herpes so that we can all heal and help each other out. It ended up turning into this huge sex positive and sexual empowerment safe space for people who are STI positive or negative. I am also an herbalist and esthetician and make my own vulva/herpes products and wanted to share them with the world! I'm so honored and grateful that people relate to my content and really enjoy it. I've gotten countless DMs about how much my work has empowered people, whether through their herpes diagnosis or in general and it always makes me cry. I feel like I use Safe Slut like a diary so I don't realize the impact I have until I get messages like that, it's always really nice to read ✨
2. You have told me you do OnlyFans, has having herpes affected your OF career or not at all?
A: So I made my OnlyFans (@herpes.witch) a few years after my diagnosis as another way to break the stigma! I also started it as a way to reclaim my sexuality in a world where I'm told I'm dirty and diseased. I am still hot as fuck with herpes! I've always been very sexual and always had a dream of making porn so I was really excited to start my account! My account is called @herpes.witch and I weave my herpes into my content so I can really only say it's been a good thing! I've worked with herpes positive and negative people, so that really hasn't been an issue for me (most people in porn have herpes anyways). A lot of my "fans" are also STI+ so it's been a really nice open space for both myself and my viewers.
3. What is the biggest stigma you think people have overall about someone with an STI?
A: I think it's the idea that only really promiscuous people get an STI and that those people are the type to be like "I'm not the type of person that would get an STI." While I did get herpes from being slutty, that's not the case for everyone. STIs aren't picky--you can get them during your first sexual encounter, in a long term monogomous relationship, later in life, etc.! Over 90% of sexually active people will get HPV at some point. You can still get herpes even when using condoms. Cold sores are herpes and can spread to the genitals during oral sex. Herpes is usually asymptomatic and over 1 in 6 people in the US has it genitally so like it's everywhere, yet a lot of those people don't even know they have it because it's not on the standard STI panel. STIs can be inevitable so it's not just hoes like me who get them!
4. For people who do porn / content collabing - how often should someone get tested & what *kinds* of tests should they be requesting?
A: I get tested after each partner--I usually wait a week or so because it can take some time for certain STIs to show up on a test. HIV and herpes can take up to 3 months to show up on a test so that's something to be mindful of. If I were to sleep with someone else before this time frame, I will disclose all of that info so I will leave it up to the other person's comfort level. A standard STI panel doesn't include herpes so I would definitely ask for that specifically as well! When getting tested I do a urine sample, blood test, and throat swab. I also do a pap smear once a year to check for HPV.
5. Disclosing your STI / STD status can be awkward or scary for some people, what has been your best way to go about it?
A: It seems like it's scary, but we all need to be having STI disclosure/sexual health conversations anyways! Before I got herpes, I didn't ask partners their status--which is wild to me now! I always start off my disclosures by asking the other person when they've been tested last, what they specifically were tested for, and what those results look like. It helps take the pressure off me for a bit and is really telling about their reaction to the question. Their sexual health is just as important and I don't want to sleep with someone who hasn't been tested or makes their sexual health a priority. After they tell me their results, I just confidently say "I was last tested xyz, I'm negative for everything but I do have hsv2. Do you know what that is?" Then I just see their reaction and go from there! Confidence is key!
6. Advice you’d give to anyone in SW with an STD? ( other than to get it treated if it’s treatable )
A: It's the same advice I give to everyone-all STIs are curable or manageable! If it's manageable then manage it! Take notice of your symptoms and abstain if you have an outbreak or prodrome, take your antivirals and/or supplements. Disclosure is obviously important as well--so I would go over that while you are screening your client. A lot of my friends who do in person SW have said it hasn't been an issue for them :)
7. What are your potions and HSV support you offer?
A: I have a few herpes support potions--my goddess oil and lemon balm tincture. The goddess oil is a topical treatment for herpes outbreaks and the lemon balm is an herbal tincture (which is taken internally). Lemon balm is a great herb for herpes since it helps calm the nervous system where the herpes virus lives. It also has so many other benefits, it's my favorite herb! I also offer 1:1 support calls that can be booked on my site safeslut.shop, as well as distance reiki sessions. I also have a Facebook support group and Patreon (where I write about herpes and dating, and share my spicy photos on my higher tiers!).
8. What are your favorite tips on how to feel confident & sexy?
A: Nudes, nudes, and more nudes! Taking nudes, just for yourself, is a huge turn on for me! It's a great way to get into your body and just really feel yourself! Get all into it too--set up some nice lighting, put on something hot, put on jewelry, makeup, etc! Also having a self pleasure practice is key. This doesn't necessarily mean masturbating (although it definitely can be!). Doing something that feels good just for yourself is so important and something we all need to do everyday!
9. Why do most doctors / testing centers not include herpes 1 or 2 in their full STD testing panels?
A: Sadly herpes isn't on the standard STI panel, and it really only tested for if you are showing symptoms. So the majority of people who have herpes don't even know! The CDC states that because it's usually asymptomatic and there's no real health concerns, the psychological and emotional aspect of a diagnosis isn't worth knowing about since they don't have symptoms. I think that is so dumb! If everyone knew their status, we would all know how common it is because legit most of us have it! If we all knew, it's likely the social stigma wouldn't exist because it would be so normalized!
& there you have it! Having a treatable or non treatable disease doesn’t make you dirty or less than, it just means you need to to take extra precautions, get treated, & disclose when needed. There is nothing wrong with you, but everything wrong with how society views it. ♡
love,
emotional stripper ♡
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