♡ CREEPY SHIT CUSTOMERS / CLIENTS DO + WHY THEY SHOULDN’T DO IT ♡

for this blog, it going to be a list of weird shit customers do REGULARLY & then a separate part as to why they shouldn’t. 

men, this one is for you. please learn from these tips if you are new or want to be a favorite customer, or if you do these, please use this to unlearn what you do.

sexworkers, this is for your own validation & to show that you are NOT alone in any of these feelings. a lot of these answers ( most of them received over 20 duplicates so clearly a lot of people feel the same way about ALL of these points ) i got from my own list and from instagram when i did my question sticker! 

♡ THE UNACCEPTABLE, THE WEIRD, THE CREEPY, AND THE “WHAT THE FUCK”? ♡

1. Asking for someone’s real name or after receiving a name, saying “tHaT’s NoT yOuR rEaL nAmE!!”

2. Asking where someone lives or the general area

3. If they grew up in the same part as you, proceeding to ask where they went to high school / college

4. In RANDOM conversation ( usually before even getting a dance, if this was a regular of mine I personally would be okay answering this ) but asking what your day job / other jobs are

5. GUILT. TRIPPING. “I only see you at the club” like YES my bills do not go on vacation and unless you’d like to pay them, kindly sit back down! Do not make someone feel bad about working ( ever ),  & if you do, prepare to be given replies of having someone wanting to be compensated for their time that they would be working. 

6. Complaining about compensating for a SW’ers time is also annoying. Don’t inquire if you have no interest or if you’ll complain about the price. I absolutely adore my therapist, but she wouldn’t hang out with me for free. Neither would my doctor or my hair stylist, and guess what? Still more than happy to see them and never ask them to hang out with me. If you are paying for a service, you will get that service. If you aren’t, then you aren’t getting anything. I barely have an actual social life because of how much work I do, seriously! I rarely see my friends who work in any industry because we are all usually super busy & that’s also a reason as to why being a sex worker can be isolating.

7. Not asking what is okay to do & assuming you can just do it. Stop trying to push our boundaries. This also goes with seeing “how much” someone can get away with until they get stopped.

8. Bringing your jealous or unhappy girlfriend or wife to the club. Trust me, we are probably just as uncomfortable as she is because women HAVE gone out of their way to stalk a dancer that danced with her husband, getting yelled at or a physical fight at the club, insulting appearances and the job overall, and very least? Surrounding the area with bad energy.

9. Licking, kissing, biting ANY dancer / person unless we say you can.

10. Trying to haggle / negotiate prices. If you can’t afford the stated price, go for someone or something else in your price range. It’s insulting and shows your lack of awareness and respect.

11. Getting a “maybe” when a dancer asks you to go for a dance. Men are visual creatures and that “maybe” 90% of the time means they are looking at EVERY girl until they make their pick unless they get swooped away by someone for a variety of reasons - which whatever, get your bag, but quit with the maybes! Say yes or no & don’t waste our time when realistically / visually you’d know in less than 30 seconds if you want a dance.

12. Bad hygiene. Enough said. Brush your teeth, chew gum, take a shower, wash your dick and everything inside and around, use deodorant, basic shit.

13. Watching over someones shoulder to see who they’re texting or what they’re doing on their phone.

14. Waving a dollar & saying “to work for it” or “you have to convince me to do the private room / dance, what are you going to do?”.

15. Pressuring drugs or alcohol.

16. Pulling your dick out in dances.

17. Asking girls to “do a spin” before agreeing to a dance so you can “see if you like them”.

18. Taking videos or pictures without asking.

19. Assuming all dancers do extras when you can just ask.

20. Getting upset when we leave to go get another customer or just go & walk around to work. You may either get more money out or I am going to keep working.

21. Asking how much someone makes in a night.

22. Slapping or grabbing someone’s ass after stage at the tip rail or anywhere at the club but especially if you are just going to slide in your single, tightly rolled up coke dollar into my g-string.

23. Being a “Captain Save A Hoe” - please go on Urban Dictionary for that one.

24. Asking for extras & pushing someone to try & do them after you explicitly say you do not offer them.

25. Blowing on dancers & fingering our belly buttons for some god forsaken reason.

26. “It’s my friends or my first time here”, “it’s my friends or my birthday” —> “can we get a free dance?” Sir, we are not Starbucks. NO.

27. Sucking on nipples during dances is so common & guess what? Most of us hate it. Get your teeth & slobber away from my nipple unless otherwise said. Also, for your own sake, please stop looking like a true weirdo by grabbing & trying your hardest to “get one taste!!” No. Some men at the club have complained to me that they hate when dancers wear pasties or that “their nipples taste weird” ( newsflash: that is a purposefully bitter liquid on their nipples BECAUSE of people like you ) We don’t hate men & aren’t jaded, we just don’t like sexual assault nor should we have to put up with it.

28. Regulars expecting free dances because they have spent more money & time. That doesn’t apply at most jobs, and last time I checked, sex workers don’t have punch cards where on your 10th visit you get a free dance. That is how you quickly stop becoming a regular &  receiving the perks you get for being one.

29. Asking oddly personal questions that honestly shouldn’t matter. Examples: “What high school / college did you go to?”, “Do you have a boyfriend?”, “What do your tattoos mean / where do you get them done?”, “How long have you been doing this & how long do you plan on doing this?”, “How old are you? or guessing someone’s age, “Where did you grow up?”, “Do you live alone?”, “Are you friends with the other girls?”, “Do you know x dancer?”, “What do you plan do after this job?”, the list goes on.

30. For my 304 girlies, guys who NEED to “get you to cum” & just finger you or whatever robotically & need to get you off when that isn’t how that works. Dicks, sure, can cum from most stimulation & don’t normally require foreplay to cum. Pussies need foreplay, ( some form ) of connection, stimulation, etc. especially where we are already being prodded.

31. FOLLOWING ANY SEX WORKERS PERSONAL PAGES. This goes for Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, etc & also following their friends or significant others personal pages as well. If we do NOT tell you that you can, then do not do this because it’s extremely creepy / unnerving along with: you are mixing our work life with our real life and you need to respect the boundary of our work. No, you do not have my permission to watch me at work and interact with me while fully knowing my personal life unless I give you that permission. SW’s foundation ( usually ) *is* discretion, so yes, WE will always value that & ask you to do the same.

32. A separate part of my last point but - ( yes, i have had this personally happen way too many times over the years ) if you DO find out something whether it be a day job from past or present, info about ourselves / family / friends / etc, address - don’t be weird & say, “wow i found these on you it was so easy!” because 1) what the actual fuck? 2) brb buying ring cameras, getting a VPN, sharing my location with even more people, turning off every location setting on my camera / phone apps, etc. & 3) please pretend we are a person you care about, meaning, if this was your partner, how the fuck would you feel if some stranger told her this?

                              ♡ WHY YOU SHOULD NOT DO THESE THINGS ♡

There are a million reasons why no one should to these things, the main ones being: boundaries, safety, privacy / discretion, and the ability to separate our professional life from our personal life. 

NOT RESPECTING PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES: Honestly there isn’t much sugar coating for that one at all, so either educate yourself on consent & whoever you are with will be more than happy to tell you what’s okay & what isn’t or accept that you are sexually harassing / assaulting along with rape depending on the situation to these women. 

NOT RESPECTING OUR SAFETY: Or thinking “it’s not THAT big of a deal” - it is. For example, this is our unfortunate reality but when people in this industry get killed or go missing ( I hate that the LISK is a perfect example ) - it is rarely reported or even taken seriously. It is rare to be reported on a popular news channel, and if it is, you are most likely only being referred to as a sex worker & not as person. It’s beyond dehumanizing. The LISK literally got reports of his stature, car, police calls from a victim + family in 2010 and no one took it seriously simply because of the work the girls did. He is finally now getting imprisoned after 13 years. We have stage names like some celebrities for a reason: our safety & to compartmentalize - if we are having our own struggles, we are leaving that at the door with our real information so that we can all have a better time, including you. We don’t want to tell you whereabouts we live because we don’t want to find you there. We do not want stalkers or anyone of any form of potential danger to us and I’d like to say that is a normal request.

TALKING DOWN TO US / TRYING TO “SAVE US”: I promise you this industry isn’t perfect, it definitely has its ups & downs - but for the most part, we are choosing to do what we do & a lot of us actually enjoy our job(s). So yes the questions of, “Is this your ONLY job?” might seem completely innocent to you, but to a good percentage of us, it comes off as incredibly demeaning. It might be our only job, it might be the only job that pays us, or it might be one of three jobs, who knows. Telling us we are “whores”, “selling our bodies”, “not respectable”, “I could never date a sex worker because I would get judged”, etc - NO. Everyday, people sell their bodies but in various ways. When I worked a normal 9-5 job, I sold my body + mental sanity + freedom of my schedule by bringing my exhausted body and mind to work, miserable that I’m there, seeing my friends do all of these awesome things while I’m stuck at work just to go home & repeat it again for a shitty paycheck. I don’t give a fuck what your job is, but trust me, you are selling something of yours to corporate or whatever else so you can keep your job, maintain it, or get a promotion. We just actually using our bodies, mind & sensuality for work - which is why the saying “hoes are healers” is extremely true. Our jobs are respectable. Taboo for some? Sure. Respect to me is about the individual entirely, not what they do for work. Someone can be a lawyer that graduated from Harvard and I have no respect for them as a person because of how they treat me or other people - has nothing to do with what they do for work. People ( usually cis men ) who date sex workers are often always the first ones to turn on us the second the relationship ends or they don’t get what they want. Truly analyze if you think you can date someone in this profession and be able to separate their work from their personal life with you. 

Lastly, the rest comes down to basic human decency. No, we don’t want to receive your dick pics unless we’re getting paid to rate it. Civ girls ALSO do not want to receive your unsolicited photos either. Do not assume you can do x,y,z just because of what we do. We are people, we are human, we have feelings, we have boundaries, & we sure as hell should have control over what we want & don’t want. 

xo,

emotional stripper ♡

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