♡ gentle reminders ♡

this is for all of us to know we are in THIS together, no matter what industry we are in - we face the same consequences / treatment / rewards / etc. yes, we are different but we really aren’t that different from each other.

for anyone that says “SW is easy”, “get a real job”, anything along those lines - will 100% never understand a single thing we go through & while i blame a lot of that on overall ignorance, whoreophobia, jealousy, general conservative views, etc - i also blame social media for the glamorization.

WE. ARE. SO. FUCKING. STRONG. ( & POWERFUL). 

we just get let down sometimes or more often than not depending because we are the professional secret keepers, we have to “be the fantasy”, “be professional” when we’ve had an awful day, we have no 100% guarantees financially which would stress anyone out, we have to hear our clients problems while we compartmentalize our own & more importantly, we are everyone else’s therapists / self care way before we are our own.

we have to worry about:

- making money. if we have slow seasons - it is detrimental. if we wasted our time on “time wasters” or just people who are super cheap, we always think of what we COULD have been doing instead or whatever it may be, but usually always ending with beating ourselves up, feeling frustrated & angry, feeling helpless, & feeling down about ourselves with questions like, “what is wrong with me?” or “is it me or is it them?”

- getting banned from: air bnbs & hotels if they have any forms of suspicion that you are working out of one no matter if you are doing a party, a meet, or filming content. 

- ( also ) getting banned from: some housing / apartments because as an independent contractor it is hard to prove income as we don’t have pay stubs / biweekly paychecks & if they know what their tenant or future homeowner does, they can deny you & from what i have personally experienced & have also been hearing especially this year - it is happening a lot. 

- ( so many bans! wow! ) our banks + online payment apps. i don’t know about credit cards, but at least with banks - yes, i have heard many horror stories of SW’rs accounts being locked or just completely closed because of the nature of their job. ( & civilian people really wonder why we’re paranoid all the time lol ) & do notttt get me started on online payments. paypal is notorious for banning SW’rs & never releasing the funds ( or if they do it is well over a year ), i got banned from venmo in 2016 & to this day i cannot get it back, cashapp bans people SO often so clients: DO NOT ADD MEMOS or say it’s for anything that could be considered a bill - just use an emoji or say “gift” if you have to write a memo. 

- ( another ban? i know. ) PLATFORMS THAT GOT POPULAR BECAUSE OF SEX WORKERS. crazy, right? yes, i’m talking onlyfans. the company was quite literally built to success because of sex workers because THAT IS WHAT THE PLATFORM WAS ORIGINALLY MADE FOR. then what happens when onlyfans becomes so mainstream that beyonce is referencing it in her lyrics & to the point most parents know what it is? they ban the people that made their success for “violating their ( extremely vague & changes frequently & if you remember the scare almost a year ago where they were going to ban anything porn related & why everyone switched to fansly but they changed their minds….this is what i mean ) terms of service” & capitalize on celebrities / vloggers / athletes / chefs & have that be who is the “face” of their brand whether it be on Instagram or their actual site. i’m sorry but i would much rather pay a subscription to see someone i find attractive doing their thing & supporting them vs subscribing to a celebrity that is already famous & multimillionaire post anything really & support them. currently, onlyfans is going through some systematic purge where so many creators ( myself included ) got a “final account ban warning” or just fully banned.

- talking about our life / opening up about anything personal because we do have to keep that guard up because it’s what keeps us / people around us safe.

- checking for people whenever you are walking alone or walking at night because who knows if you got followed or who knows if you have a stalker, the list goes on. we carry so much self defense items on us it is insane, but it is sadly needed. ( & if you don’t - this is your sign to start ASAP )

- constant judgement. 

- being sexualized in most scenarios & more so if someone does know what our job is.

- i could keep going & i would but i was trying to keep it short & kinda ended up ranting but short version: there’s a fucking LOT that we have to worry about that the average person never would have to.

BUT……

we are some of the strongest forces anyone has have ever met.

we are not trained to do be equipped for this ( anything in the SW umbrella ) - you either stay or you leave.

we are professional secret keepers, we are professionals at whatever occupation we have.

we have jobs & careers within these walls, & if we wanted an exit - we have options & opportunities.

we are all basically psych majors & masters of DBT & CBT skills.

we are absolutely resilient.

we will do whatever it takes to provide for ourselves or our families - & not a lot of people can say or show that. that alone is a pat on the back.

we smile when we want to cry or scream & we make the fucking most of it all the time. we are creators of amazing times, eventful nights, instilling confidence or reinstating confidence in people, we help relationships, we are therapists & let people find their voice while allowing them to feel seen + heard, we show compassion through emotions, physically or mentally, & we do so much good that i think we forget sometimes. hoes are healers, always ♡

- we have eachothers backs in ways that most can’t understand mainly because of how isolating work can be, general drama & all of that - but we are there for eachother because even if we do not know eachother or get along, we will protect our people at all costs. ( i am speaking for myself on this one & hoping that’s a more popular stance than not )

- we are fucking business people & also should be considered legit accountants at this point as well. we ALWAYS think of something if one job doesn’t work out or if something cancels. we are creative & innovative. we are about our money, our jobs, & having as much fun as we can doing it. we are the most motivational people i have ever met because guess what? no one is forcing us to wake up and do something, yes obviously if you have a scene or whatever to do, you SHOULD be there but it is different consequences. we have to motivate ourselves vs having a schedule force us to be somewhere & then go home. no, we have to wakeup & work with our given schedule or make one & we get / stay motivated that way. majority of people aren’t built that way.

i’ll probably make a part 2 of this at some point, but please read this whenever you are having an off day. know that you matter, that you are strong, that you aren’t alone in any of your feelings, & that what you feel is totally normal + you have a community. 

xo,

emotional stripper ♡